Separation is Hard - for Parents too!
I’ll never forget the day I ugly cried after dropping off my two little ones for their first day of daycare. It wasn’t pretty, but it was real. Having spent over a decade in early childhood education, I thought I was prepared. I had meticulously chosen a quality program and felt confident that my babies were in the best hands. They were more than fine; it was me who wasn’t. I cried for hours and called the school more times than I’d like to admit, both times. Thankfully, the experienced staff understood my anxiety and showed me the grace I desperately needed.
The Overwhelming First Day
Every parent can relate to the tidal wave of emotions that hits on that first day with a babysitter, daycare, or preschool. We dive into endless lists, devour parenting books, and go into overdrive preparing our babies for this new chapter. We’re so caught up in the logistics—buying diapers, labeling clothes, filling out forms—that we don’t get the chance to process the change ourselves. But once the door closes and the silence sets in, the reality hits us like a ton of bricks.
It Gets Easier
Let me assure you, it does get easier. As a parent of now 7 and 8-year-olds (2nd and 4th graders), most mornings run smoothly with fewer tears. Sure, there are still the occasional meltdowns or refusals to get on the bus, but overall, it’s not as heart-wrenching as it once was. Yet, even on the hardest mornings, I know that we all breathe a collective sigh of relief when that school bus finally pulls away. What really makes the difference isn’t just knowing they’re in a good school; it’s also the internal conversations we have on those tough days.
Tips for Navigating Separation Anxiety
Here are my personal tips for making it through those tough days when you have to leave your little one for the first time or on a particularly challenging morning:
1. Ease Into Separation: Think of it as a journey rather than a sudden leap. If you’re preparing to return to work or need some solo time, start by leaving your baby with a trusted family member for short periods. Gradually extend these outings, getting both you and your child accustomed to the new routine. It’s like building up your stamina in the marathon of parenthood!
2. Build Trust with Caretakers: Your support system goes beyond immediate family—babysitters, teachers, and grandparents are all part of your team. By engaging with them and expressing your concerns, you can gain a sense of control over your separation anxiety. Let them in on your worries, and you’ll be surprised at how quickly they become your parenting partners.
3. Streamline Your Morning Routine: Mornings can feel like a sprint through an obstacle course. Between sleep deprivation, emotional exhaustion, and the unpredictable nature of kids, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Think of your morning routine as an Olympic event—practice, refine, and adjust as needed. Consistency is key, but so is flexibility.
4. Release the Guilt: It’s completely normal to feel guilty about being away from your little one, but don’t let that guilt steal the joy from your time apart. Give yourself permission to embrace the moment, whether it’s for self-care, work, or just a quiet cup of coffee.
5. Connect with Other Parents: You’re not in this alone. Even someone like me, who has worked in early childhood education, has had moments of doubt and plenty of tears. Reaching out to other parents can be incredibly reassuring. Share stories, exchange tips, and lean on your community for support.
We’d love to hear your experiences and any tips you’ve discovered along the way. Share them in the comments below! We’re here to support each other, and stay tuned for more advice on making those goodbyes just a little bit easier.
Cheers to a Happy New (School) Year!
XOXO,Paige
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